Microfiction: How a Hawk Gave a Feather to an Arrow
Story 1 || 25 words:
An Indian saved a young hawk, whose feathers provided flight. The arrow adorned with the feather of the hawk flies straight and meets its mark.
Story 2 || 100 words:
A baby hawk fell from his nest, too young and helpless to fly. The hawk would surely would have been eaten if it were not for a young Indian boy who found him. The young boy raised the hawk until he could fly, yet the hawk stayed with him. The young boy made arrows that could not steer straight and faltered in the breeze. The clever hawk drew his own feather and adorned it to the arrow, which now flew as straight as the hawk. The villagers gave a great shout, as now their arrows flew straight through the air.
Author's Note: For this set of microfictions, I wanted to experiment with different levels of detail for my stories. I adopted a story that the Caddo people told of how a baby hawk was rescued by a little boy, and now gave his feather so that an arrow could fly straight. For my 25-word microfiction, I found it difficult to capture the finer details of the original story, such as the hawk's helplessness and the young boy's arrow shortcomings. With so little words, I had to be more abstract with my writing and allow the readers to make the connection between the feather and the arrow. With my 100-word microfiction, I was able to capture more of the finer details of the original story while still having to be deliberate with my words. I was able to capture more of the plot of the original story about how the boy raised the hawk and how the hawk helped him in return. My favorite of these two is the 100-word version of the story, as it captures most of the finer details and emotions from the original story without being too drawn out or lengthy.
Bibliography: Why Arrows Have Feathers from When the Storm God Rides: Tejas and Other Indian Legends by Florence Stratton (1936)
An Indian saved a young hawk, whose feathers provided flight. The arrow adorned with the feather of the hawk flies straight and meets its mark.
Story 2 || 100 words:
A baby hawk fell from his nest, too young and helpless to fly. The hawk would surely would have been eaten if it were not for a young Indian boy who found him. The young boy raised the hawk until he could fly, yet the hawk stayed with him. The young boy made arrows that could not steer straight and faltered in the breeze. The clever hawk drew his own feather and adorned it to the arrow, which now flew as straight as the hawk. The villagers gave a great shout, as now their arrows flew straight through the air.
Red-Shouldered Hawk - Courtesy of eBird
Author's Note: For this set of microfictions, I wanted to experiment with different levels of detail for my stories. I adopted a story that the Caddo people told of how a baby hawk was rescued by a little boy, and now gave his feather so that an arrow could fly straight. For my 25-word microfiction, I found it difficult to capture the finer details of the original story, such as the hawk's helplessness and the young boy's arrow shortcomings. With so little words, I had to be more abstract with my writing and allow the readers to make the connection between the feather and the arrow. With my 100-word microfiction, I was able to capture more of the finer details of the original story while still having to be deliberate with my words. I was able to capture more of the plot of the original story about how the boy raised the hawk and how the hawk helped him in return. My favorite of these two is the 100-word version of the story, as it captures most of the finer details and emotions from the original story without being too drawn out or lengthy.
Bibliography: Why Arrows Have Feathers from When the Storm God Rides: Tejas and Other Indian Legends by Florence Stratton (1936)
Hey DaMythDaLegend!
ReplyDeleteI liked this short stories! I attempted some for extra credit as well and I found the challenge particularly fun. I think you did a great job! Conveying the important parts of the story in 25 words is no easy feat! I liked how you managed to keep the same feeling (in terms of word choice and sentence structure) as many of the Native American myths and legends even in such a short format. I also like that you did two different length retellings of the same story. It's really interesting to see the dynamic change in the way that the same story can be presented based on length. Your story makes me wonder how the villagers effectively hunted before the gift from the hawk. I imagine that arrows without vanes would be incredibly difficult to aim with any accuracy. I think that, really, the only suggestion that I would give about these microfictions would be to write more! I think that if you continue doing these extra credit assignments, you should revisit this story and give it another, longer, version! I like the conciseness of these versions, but they make me curious about the whole story. Again, I really appreciate these microfictions! Great job!
Hey Jackie!
ReplyDeleteI really liked both of your stories. I agree that the second one was better because there was able to be more detail in it, but I loved how poetic the 25 word one sounded. And I liked that you put that one first because it intrigued me to know what the whole story was going to be about.
Hi Jackie! I haven’t yet tried out this extra credit option, so it was nice to see what you’ve done with it! I enjoy what you did with both of them, though I do agree that the 100-word one was able to add more detail and explanation. I actually really enjoy the abstract nature of the 25-word story. It’s mysterious in a fun way. The reader doesn’t always need answers. Sometimes they can come up with their own conclusions about the interpretation. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteHi Jackie!
ReplyDeleteI think you really captured the essence of microfiction here. I think the 25 word story was brief but to the point. It definitely included the most important aspects of the plot. The 100 word story is nice in that you were able to include more backstory, but I was able to imagine the events in the 25 word story too. I think it is cool that you included both stories so the readers can see the changes you had to make to shorten the story to 25 words!