Microfiction: The Fearful Moon

Story 1 || 6 words:

Fearing the Sun, the Moon pales.

Story 2 || 50 words:

Long ago, the Moon was made the wife of the Sun. Alas, the Sun was very angry when the Moon ran ahead of him, so the Moon grew small and pale. Now, the Moon grows larger for a while but soon fades away again, remembering the Sun's anger and temperament.

Sun and Moon - Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons


Author's Note: For this set of microfictions, I chose to write my own versions of Why of the Moon is Pale. The original story tells of how Small Turtle made Sun out of Lightning and made Moon his wife. Now, Moon was smaller than Sun, but equally as bright. The animals bore a hold through the earth so that Sun and Moon could begin their journey again in the east. Alas, when Moon ran ahead, Sun grew very angry. Frightened at Sun's anger, Moon grew small and pale. Small Turtle tried to make her large again, so now she grows big, but she grows small and pale again when she remembers Sun's anger. For my first microfiction of just 6 words, I tried to remain very abstract with my words, leaving a significant amount of detail for readers to figure out. I chose to retell only the main plot of the story, emphasizing how the Moon pales in her fear of the great Sun. Readers can readily acknowledge that the Moon is much paler than the Sun, and thus they can make up their own stories about the Sun and Moon. Thus, this breathes new life to the old story and makes many new stories for future generations. For my second microfiction of 50 words, I was able to retell the story with many of the details from the original story. I retold of how the Moon was the wife of the Sun and how the Sun grew angry when the Moon ran ahead. I also described how the Moon grows larger and smaller, remembering the Sun's anger. This version captures more of the storyline and plot of the original story, and readers can easily follow along. There is little left for interpretation, and readers are left with the knowledge of why the Moon is pale. Personally, I prefer the short of the two microfictions, as it provides enough detail for readers to make their own interpretations and use their imaginations to create new tales, giving a fresh breath to an old story.

Bibliography: Why the Moon is Pale from Myths and Legends of British North America by Katharine Berry Judson (1917)

Comments

  1. Hi Jackie,

    I find microfictions really interesting to read, so I always look for them when I'm doing my blog commenting. I like how they can convey so little but also tell a full story. I like the creative spark they give the reader. It allows you to use your imagination and see the possibilities of a more detailed story. I think you did a great job with these microfictions. I think it would be really difficult to only use 6 words!

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  2. Hi Jackie!

    These microfictions are always fun to read and write. It is amazing how you can prove a point in just six words. The moon was very fearful of the sun! Thanks for the author's note to help describe the original story. But honestly with the microfictions I do not really like the author's notes as much as longer stories. Mostly, because I feel like it ruins the imagination that the microfiction stories convey.

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